This is what I thought. See if it matches what you wanted your audience to know. Purpose: Story of her family home from beginning to end Dramatic Question: This house is not my home - the title makes you wonder what is it about this house that makes it not your home. Emotion: From happy in the beginning to sad in the end. I can't help thinking if you were in a different stage in your life you might have been able to buy this house and make it a home once again keeping the happy memories alive and passing them down to your children. I was interested in hearing your story. Economy: Story is 5 1/2 minutes Images: Good images of the building of the house. Glad you were able to find them. "Rotting away" - image with pixels. Good effect. Interesting effect with the color in the picture at the end of your story. It almost was breathing. Audio: The audio was good. I hardly noticed it. It fit right in.
1. Purpose: This story shows how a house was built and everything that happened there as well. This story shows different things that had happened in the house; good or bad. 2. Dramatic Question: When I was in 6th grade my parents decided that they wanted to be homeowners and they wanted to build their own house. 3. Emotion: Everyone can relate to having a house and starting from the ground up. People can even relate to going through a bad divorce and losing things that you had your entire life. 4. Economy: This story was very well written and the time length was good as well. 5. Images: Your images go great with your story. 6. Audio: Your music that is on this makes your story sound so dramatic. Your pictures went right along with your story. I liked how you changed the color of the images at the end of your story which showed that you were waiting to see what would happen and how much it has changed.
Amanda, What an interesting story, and so complex and complicated. It all centers around a house, but the emotions associated with it are very intense, your feelings of love, happiness, and security being so closely associated with your house are very clear and well-developed throughout your story. They’re also effectively enhanced by the pictures of your family and friends. I really got the sense that a lot of fun happened there, all throughout the house, and at many points in your life. So, when you arrive at the point where the family splits, your emotion can be felt, and the images you chose go well with that. I love the title; it’s very simple but filled with meaning. The addition of the quiet but dark music adds to emotion of the subject you’re about to talk about. The change to more uplifting music in the middle, when you talk about your family, helps with the positive connection you make to the house. It’s a sad story to have to tell, but I also thought you ended it well, hoping that someone, some day, would be able to live in the house again and take care of it. The image at the end, of the morphing colors, was really effective and interesting. Such a great story, but a sad one that I think too many people may be able to relate to in some way.
The purpose of your story is clear and concise. I like the headway into how the situation and storyline changes emotionally. The music in the background esentuates the images used immensely. You bring the viewers into your home and happiness, and then crash them into your hardship. The narration is awesome.. I especially like how you fluctuate your voice as the story line and emotion changes. You did a great job in expressing something that can be difficult for some to talk about. You did a great job with this!
As I said before, I am so sympathetic to this story because I have witnessed this very same transformation of a home and how it can be so symbolic of the health of your family. When things are great, the home seems to really have a life and soul and a heartbeat that is full of life and wonder. When things are bad, the home seems lifeless, dreary and somewhat returning back to the earth. So, the emotional content is all there for me. I really love the evolution of the images and audio you chose, which helps to really drive in the point of the home symbol. The pacing and economy is good. I think you did a great job of addressing a very sensitive subject and it's a story that so many kids with divorced parents will understand. This is a story that rarely gets told accurately: the story of the emotional impact of your family being torn apart. I think you told it accurately and the house was a great way to tell that story.
I really liked that you used your house as a symbol for your family. During the happy times, your home was a gathering place for friends and family, and it was brimming with laughter and exuding happiness. Now, as you said, the dilapidated (good word choice) house represents the emptiness and distance you feel. I think your purpose was made clear at the beginning and remained consistent throughout. Your dramatic question was when you told us that your parents decided they wanted to be homeowners when you were in 6th grade. I loved the photos of the house being built! They added a very nice touch. The emotional content of your story is something every kid with divorced parents can relate to. Your pacing was good, your voice was clear and you enunciated your words well. I think you did a great job!
Amanda, You did a good job at using your old family home as a symbol for your family. My parents are currently going through a divorce as well, however my mother will get my childhood home. You can tell that this house and your family mean a lot to you, and that it pains you to lose it. I liked your last line about hoping the house can be a home again. Your pictures were very nice. The only thing I would changes is that some of the music makes very abrupt changes, and your voice over sometimes cause feedback.
The best thing about your story is: it is personal and expresses great emotion I would like to know more about: your family now One thing you should think about changing is: the music flow so it is more softer in changing at times. Another thing I like about your story is: the family photos of the fun and camping out on the porch!
The house as a metaphor is a compelling hook. I felt though,at the beginning, that the music was overpowering your story. I liked it when the music and story changed together. I think if you used more neutral music at the beginning and waited to shift into darker music when you get to the dark parts of the story, it might be easier on the audience. I also like how you have the house changing colors and looking vibrant when you talk about your hopes that someone else will live in it and love it again.
Your digital story is very well done. The whole thing just comes together very nicely. The tone of your voice as you're telling the story goes really great, and the music that comes through in the background adds a sort of ominous feel to it. I can't honestly find anything about this that should be changed. You did a great job!
Purpose: Your purpose is clearly to tell a story. Dramatic Question: Your title is a good dramatic question. It's a great attention grabber. Emotion: There is definitely emotion here. This is something that is very personal to you. Economy: Just a little over 5 minutes, but your story isn't overly long, and it's compelling enough that you don't notice the extra length. Images: I love your personal images, and how you go through the whole thing from start to finish. Audio: Your voice is probably the best part in this whole video. You did an excellent job narrating this story!
The best thing about your story is that you change emotional directions from happy to sad quite quickly, which mirrors how suddenly your life changed. I would like to know more about the happy times before it all changed. I want to say that maybe you should shorten it, but it is such a compelling story that I actually would love for there to be more to the story. Another good thing about your story is that I am sure there are others that can relate.
This is what I thought. See if it matches what you wanted your audience to know.
ReplyDeletePurpose: Story of her family home from beginning to end
Dramatic Question: This house is not my home - the title makes you wonder what is it about this house that makes it not your home.
Emotion: From happy in the beginning to sad in the end. I can't help thinking if you were in a different stage in your life you might have been able to buy this house and make it a home once again keeping the happy memories alive and passing them down to your children. I was interested in hearing your story.
Economy: Story is 5 1/2 minutes
Images: Good images of the building of the house. Glad you were able to find them. "Rotting away" - image with pixels. Good effect. Interesting effect with the color in the picture at the end of your story. It almost was breathing.
Audio: The audio was good. I hardly noticed it. It fit right in.
1. Purpose: This story shows how a house was built and everything that happened there as well. This story shows different things that had happened in the house; good or bad.
ReplyDelete2. Dramatic Question: When I was in 6th grade my parents decided that they wanted to be homeowners and they wanted to build their own house.
3. Emotion: Everyone can relate to having a house and starting from the ground up. People can even relate to going through a bad divorce and losing things that you had your entire life.
4. Economy: This story was very well written and the time length was good as well.
5. Images: Your images go great with your story.
6. Audio: Your music that is on this makes your story sound so dramatic.
Your pictures went right along with your story. I liked how you changed the color of the images at the end of your story which showed that you were waiting to see what would happen and how much it has changed.
Amanda,
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting story, and so complex and complicated. It all centers around a house, but the emotions associated with it are very intense, your feelings of love, happiness, and security being so closely associated with your house are very clear and well-developed throughout your story. They’re also effectively enhanced by the pictures of your family and friends. I really got the sense that a lot of fun happened there, all throughout the house, and at many points in your life. So, when you arrive at the point where the family splits, your emotion can be felt, and the images you chose go well with that. I love the title; it’s very simple but filled with meaning. The addition of the quiet but dark music adds to emotion of the subject you’re about to talk about. The change to more uplifting music in the middle, when you talk about your family, helps with the positive connection you make to the house. It’s a sad story to have to tell, but I also thought you ended it well, hoping that someone, some day, would be able to live in the house again and take care of it. The image at the end, of the morphing colors, was really effective and interesting. Such a great story, but a sad one that I think too many people may be able to relate to in some way.
The purpose of your story is clear and concise. I like the headway into how the situation and storyline changes emotionally. The music in the background esentuates the images used immensely. You bring the viewers into your home and happiness, and then crash them into your hardship. The narration is awesome.. I especially like how you fluctuate your voice as the story line and emotion changes. You did a great job in expressing something that can be difficult for some to talk about. You did a great job with this!
ReplyDeleteAmanda,
ReplyDeleteAs I said before, I am so sympathetic to this story because I have witnessed this very same transformation of a home and how it can be so symbolic of the health of your family. When things are great, the home seems to really have a life and soul and a heartbeat that is full of life and wonder. When things are bad, the home seems lifeless, dreary and somewhat returning back to the earth. So, the emotional content is all there for me. I really love the evolution of the images and audio you chose, which helps to really drive in the point of the home symbol. The pacing and economy is good. I think you did a great job of addressing a very sensitive subject and it's a story that so many kids with divorced parents will understand. This is a story that rarely gets told accurately: the story of the emotional impact of your family being torn apart. I think you told it accurately and the house was a great way to tell that story.
Thank you very much,
Michael Gallimore
I really liked that you used your house as a symbol for your family. During the happy times, your home was a gathering place for friends and family, and it was brimming with laughter and exuding happiness. Now, as you said, the dilapidated (good word choice) house represents the emptiness and distance you feel. I think your purpose was made clear at the beginning and remained consistent throughout. Your dramatic question was when you told us that your parents decided they wanted to be homeowners when you were in 6th grade. I loved the photos of the house being built! They added a very nice touch. The emotional content of your story is something every kid with divorced parents can relate to. Your pacing was good, your voice was clear and you enunciated your words well. I think you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteAmanda,
ReplyDeleteYou did a good job at using your old family home as a symbol for your family. My parents are currently going through a divorce as well, however my mother will get my childhood home. You can tell that this house and your family mean a lot to you, and that it pains you to lose it. I liked your last line about hoping the house can be a home again. Your pictures were very nice. The only thing I would changes is that some of the music makes very abrupt changes, and your voice over sometimes cause feedback.
The best thing about your story is: it is personal and expresses great emotion
ReplyDeleteI would like to know more about: your family now
One thing you should think about changing is: the music flow so it is more softer in changing at times.
Another thing I like about your story is: the family photos of the fun and camping out on the porch!
The house as a metaphor is a compelling hook. I felt though,at the beginning, that the music was overpowering your story. I liked it when the music and story changed together. I think if you used more neutral music at the beginning and waited to shift into darker music when you get to the dark parts of the story, it might be easier on the audience. I also like how you have the house changing colors and looking vibrant when you talk about your hopes that someone else will live in it and love it again.
ReplyDeleteYour digital story is very well done. The whole thing just comes together very nicely. The tone of your voice as you're telling the story goes really great, and the music that comes through in the background adds a sort of ominous feel to it. I can't honestly find anything about this that should be changed. You did a great job!
ReplyDeletePurpose: Your purpose is clearly to tell a story.
Dramatic Question: Your title is a good dramatic question. It's a great attention grabber.
Emotion: There is definitely emotion here. This is something that is very personal to you.
Economy: Just a little over 5 minutes, but your story isn't overly long, and it's compelling enough that you don't notice the extra length.
Images: I love your personal images, and how you go through the whole thing from start to finish.
Audio: Your voice is probably the best part in this whole video. You did an excellent job narrating this story!
The best thing about your story is that you change emotional directions from happy to sad quite quickly, which mirrors how suddenly your life changed. I would like to know more about the happy times before it all changed. I want to say that maybe you should shorten it, but it is such a compelling story that I actually would love for there to be more to the story. Another good thing about your story is that I am sure there are others that can relate.
ReplyDelete